my attempt at sadist poetry

‘I’ CE BERG

I feel cold, I feel blue,
I feel like its two degrees when it’s actually forty two.
I’ve been down and out, without exhilaration or empathy
and the days just seem to drag on.

They tumble into each other like ripples in a lake
and it spreads unevenly,
the expanse of emptiness that multiplies
like the rotten undergrowth within my sunken heart.
I have lost the vastness of my expression to occasional brilliant streaks,
like blitzkrieg.

Once fallen, lost forever into oblivion.

I do not know what runs through my mind,
for, in an instant it changes sides.
From being responsible, I become careless.
From being emphatic, I become devoid of concern.
From being involved, I become uncaring,
and in my attempt to discern right, I often end up doing wrong.

My once effortless smile doesn't reach my eyes any more,
my mirror image tries hard to improve it,
but the much celebrated twinkle is lost.
My throat hurts,
it is sore, like a ravaged beast.
I can feel the sores expand with an unfeeling ferocity,
its nightingale - ish quality is gone.

My vain streak has run awry and demands of my character
much more than it is receiving.
I am not too proud to ask for help, though lukewarm will be my reception
to any such effort.

And through the watery haze that has now overtaken my vision
and lent a subliminal ,mystic glow to my dark environ,
I end this rather pathetic description
of the storm that rages within my mind and soul.

But a word of warning....this is just the tip of the iceberg.